Once again I find myself devoid of inspiration and devoid of energy to write. All I can think about is why did I set myself a challenge at which I was destined to fail? I couldn’t possibly think that I would have the discipline to blog everyday–so why did I even assume I would? More importantly, does writing this blog even matter, to me or to anyone else? What’s the purpose? And who cares?
Then I realized. Perhaps these were the questions Jesus was asking himself after four weeks in the desert, What am I doing here? Does it matter? Maybe a few people will believe, but what’s the price value equation? Perhaps these questions were the hardest part of the temptation…
I don’t know. I am not supposing that I am Jesus. I just know that the self-imposed burden of this practice is wearing. When I don’t write I feel I have failed. When I do write I wonder if anything has changed. Surely Jesus, his human nature, must have asked these questions. I can only place my faith in the fact that the answers are beyond my grasp. And try again tomorrow.
I think it’s a great discipline to do something hard every day for a month or more. I did the Write a Novel in 30 days challenge years back. It was not easy. I had to write 2-4 hours a day. But, I did it. The novel probably sucks, but no one will read it. I learned that writing is creative, but it’s also a slog, just like going for a run. And, that’s ok because in the end, you will be amazed that you did it.
Such a good point. I think these are classic, time-honored Lenten questions. Gratefully, Easter is on the horizon!